10 Incredibly Funny Things Men Do With Their Penises
It is no secret that a man’s penis is their power of strength and authority. Although it is a status or dominance thing, some men that do incredibly unusual and funny things with their penises.
To some looking from the other end, it may be strange, but for the man, it is a normal day-to-day activity. A majority of the activities may surprise you, since they are weird and unheard of, but to a man, they are quite normal.
Before you read on, make sure you understand that the following activities are a bit on the peculiar and humorous side. The actions may not seem ordinary, because they really are not.
We are not saying that all men do this with their pricks. In fact, just a few are bold enough to try these weird tricks. Now, here is the countdown of the 10 most comical things men do with their dicks:
10. Men Using Their Penises as Cool Fountains – “The Fountain of Penis”
It is no surprise that many men pee while taking a shower. Some may just relax and feel the warm water splash on their backs. However, for others, they hold their penis upwards to make a really witty fountain. This might sound pretty common, because even women play around while they are showering.
For a man, seeing their penis as a fountain seems like a really fun thing to do. Come to think of it, it is definitely a funny action, but not unheard of, especially if you’ve ever changed a baby boy’s diaper.
Proceed with caution.
9. Men Dressing Up Their Penises – “Project Runway Penis”
If you do think about it, the penis is actually shaped like a naked person. That is the reason why many men enjoy playing around by dressing up their penis.
Whatever they could find around the house could serve as something to dress up their penises.
From cool sunglasses, ponytail scrunchies, doll clothing and colored socks, the possibilities are endless once a man starts thinking about how to make their prick “pretty.”
8. Men Using Their Dicks to Stir Alcoholic Drinks – “The Penis Margarita Stirrer”
This may be more of the “I am an extreme party-going man” kind of thing. There are some men that enjoy using their penises as alcoholic drink mixers.
It is quite easy really, men just have to take off their clothing or unzipped their fly and pull out their dick. Then they just need to find an alcoholic drink that has not been mixed yet, stick in their package in the glass and mix away.
Easy as that! It may not be the normal mixing tool, but it sure adds up to the party vibe for those interested in that sort of thing.
Just make sure it’s squeaky clean, for hygiene’s sake.
7. Men Using Their Penises as a Weiner – “The Penis Dog”
Yes, the penis does somewhat look like a yummy hotdog minus the bun. There are many men who enjoying using their imaginations and actually take a hotdog bun and slide in their package in there.
What makes it even more fun is that men could even add in their favorite condiments on it to make it look like a real hotdog. It could make a really mouthwatering and funny-looking wiener indeed.
Relish, mustard and ketchup, anyone?
6. Men Using Their “Sex Juice” as Cream – “The Ultimate Penis Baker”
There are many men who have a wild imagination! What happens when a man loves to bake and wants to use their penis as a baking tool?
Oh of course, the ultimate penis baker! Since man juice does have its similarities to cupcake frosting, why not produce some and present it on cupcakes or cookies, right? It could be a very useful decorating tool that is free and filled with protein.
Have your cake and eat it too.
5. Men Using Their Penis as a Bag Holder –“The Penis Bag Hanger”
This comical task requires a semi or fully erect prick. Trying it with a limp and shriveled up penis will not be useful at all. The penis could be an excellent women’s bag hanger because it does the job. Men love helping out their women, why not have him hold your bag with his own perky package?
If you put enough stuff in there, your pocketbook could serve as a free penis weight enhancement device.
4. Men Using Their Package as a Toilet Paper Holder –“The Human Tissue Holder”
Just like a bag hanger, many men find it interesting and fun to place a tissue roll around their penis, stand in the bathroom and act as a human tissue roll holder.
Unlike the toilet roll holders that only stay in one place in the bathroom, a human tissue holder could be portable and even follow people around the house who need a roll of tissue paper.
Now, that’s convenience and practicality with a twist.
3. Men Using Their Penises as a Portable Towel Holder – “The Portable Towel Rack”
If men like becoming a bag holder and tissue roll holder, there is no surprise that a portable towel rack is their next plan of action. A fully erected penis could be a superb portable towel rack. Many men find it funny after sex to stand in the bathroom and hang towels on their package.
Some like to see how heavy of a towel their penis could hold, while others just want to provide their partners with a portable and instant towel stand.
Just remember, it’s slippery when wet.
2. Men Using Their Penis as an Item Launcher –“The Human Cockapult”
From early childhood, little boys love using their little penises as mini-launchers, so don’t be surprised to hear they also enjoy using it as full-grown men. It’s even better as an adult, because of the ability to launch heavier items further across the room. There are some men that find it amusing to use their penis as a weapon of destruction.
Who really needs to build a catapult when they already have a built-in cockapult between their legs? A fully erect penis could provide the best elasticity to fling small objects across the room, even better for those men who enjoy a good penis-launching competition.
It’s time to dig out that old dartboard.
1. Men Imaging Their Penis Is a Rock Star – “I Whip My Penis Back and Forth”
This action is done to entertain many grown men, and even their partners. Since the penis hangs freely, many men enjoy moving their hips in an up and down movement and watching their penis “whip it.
”This is best done with a man’s legs spread out and a semi-erect, or even a limp penis. Many men enjoy seeing their penis and balls swing back and forth to the rhythm of some head banging music.
So, if you can’t get it up tonight, at least have some fun and laughs with your thing, will ya?
If you are a man and reading this amusing list, did you find some things to do yourself? If you have not heard of some of these crazy penis actions, are you tempted to try it out now? Who knows, you might have an amusing time trying out new roles for your penis. It could bring you entertainment and also bring your lady some laughs, too.