10 Kooky Things Guys Do to Their Balls
Guys love to play with balls, and we’re talking about all kinds of balls – both young and on the playground types of balls, and adulthood-attached-to-your-body type of balls. Many guys admit that their balls are freakishly funny and weird. They are hairy and change their position in accordance with the changes in temperature.
Although most guys love to fondle their balls, some go beyond the limit and do weird stuff with their privates. Here are some shocking stories about guys and their balls that will definitely surprise you.
1. Destroy Those Monsters in Your Balls
The use of the drug LSD, popularly known as “acid,” is increasing among the younger generations. The effects of LSD are extremely predictable. One such extreme behavior was witnessed in Arcata, California, where a 31-year old man took a heavy dose of LSD to experience a high.
As his freakish activities grew, he started to believe that his testes were captured by horrifying monsters. Scared of these disturbing thoughts, he could not think of anything better to get rid of monsters than to grab a knife, cut off his monstrous nuts, and flush them down the toilet.
Is it possible that a guy can castrate himself on acid? Or do these guys already have some really weird stuff going on in their heads, like being psychologically messed up. If drugs truly are the culprits, then next time we might hear a drug-induced guy screaming, “I have demons in my sperm!”
2. Serve Them With Mushrooms and Parsely
A 23-year old Japanese man cooked and served his own severed balls with button mushrooms and parsley to paying diners in Japan.He was later handed over to prosecutors for this indecent exposure. The irony of the incident is that police did not interrogate why he scooped out his marbles because of the anti-cannibalism law in Japan.
Being an asexual illustrator, the Japanese man reasoned that the event was going to raise awareness regarding sexual minorities and asexual individuals.
He had surgery to remove his penis, scrotum and balls, freezing them for two months before serving them to his elite guests. Not to be critical, but one may wonder how eating balls is a sign of awareness? We think that’s nuts.
3. Nail Them to the Pavement
A stark-naked Russian man, Pyotr Pavlensky, knocked a huge nail through his own testicles to a cobblestone in Red Square. He mutilated his scrotum to prove a point.This horrendous act of self-harm was a protest against the “police state.” According to Pavlensky, this act symbolizes the helplessness of a naked man who could not do anything but stare at his fixed balls.
After he was spotted by police, he was immediately arrested and hospitalized where the doctors removed the nail from the testicles. However, he was released after a day since the judge was not interested in publicizing this event.
This was not the first time Pavelensky created a strange protest. He was notorious for wrapping his fully naked body in a cocoon made of barbed wire at the main gate of the Legislative Assembly of Saint Petersburg.
He even stitched his lips with coarse red thread to support the punk group Pussy Riot. Perhaps we may see him protesting for democracy with a nail in his ass. Who knows?
Does nailing one’s testicles to the ground make sense as a protest? Or is it just as weird and desperate of an act as it seems?
4. Sell Them to Fund Your Dream Trip
Have you wondered what you can do to fund your trip? You must have heard of crazy travelers selling their houses, cars and possessions, but what about selling your family jewels? No, we are not talking about a piece of jewelry gifted to you by your granny. We are talking about your very own balls. Yes, you read that right.
A poet in Columbia was so eager to fund his trip to Europe that he put his own testicles for sale at the whooping price of $20,000.According to the poet, his testicles could help a sterile person or could be an ingredient to prepare a soup. Really?
Soup worth a few thousand dollars? He must have been in cahoots with the Japanese man we mentioned, above.
Was the man really nuts to sell his nuts? Or, was it a publicity stunt to garner sympathy and collect some funds for free? You decide.
5. Get Them Inked
Tattooing is something that most of us love. But, then again, some obsessed folks don’t think twice before getting a tattoo in weird places such as on the ass, neck, armpit, eyebrows, forehead, scalp, palm, tooth and even on the tongue. Well, what about having a tattoo on your nut sack?
Obviously that would mean a lot of pain. But, a few desperate folks can go to any level to do something unique. Some say that there are very few nerve endings in the scrotum region, so a tattoo there doesn’t cause too much pain.What is more painful is the fact that your tattoo will constantly be changing appearance and shape – and more importantly, will the tattoo look good on wrinkled skin?
6. Dress Them Up
A guy, Sackie Gleason in Boston, has managed to have his nuts do some acting work. Also known as James Bagney, The Twins, and Nutger Hauer, he even has a website called testicletheater.com created for the sole purpose of displaying the unique artwork on his balls.
The website features short films imitating some of the cinema’s most cherished masterpieces.
Sackie puts makeup on his nuts and dresses them up in costumes to make them act the scenes from “Thelma and Louise,” “The Godfather,” “Jaws,” and “Macbeth, even “Enter The Dragon.”
With his nuts acting on the stage, it is incredible that he is able to stay underground for so long.
Sackie knows this is weird, but he believes his testicles are multitalented and should have the opportunity to show their talent to the world. Perhaps it is possible that obsessed gals may start a boob-related puppet show after learning about this nuts staged performance.
Well, do you have any interest in watching a pair of nuggets acting on the stage? The answer to that might be a yes. Anyway, we should definitely give Sackie an award for discovering a unique way to use his marbles.
7. Take Them to the Movies – and More.
Sometimes watching a boring movie can lead men to do things that are unbelievable.
Thomas Ross from New Mexico went to watch a movie, but when he could not enjoy it further, he turned to the bathroom and urinated into the sink. Security guards caught him doing the act and warned him.
Well, as that was not nasty enough, he took out a needle and shot up heroine into his scrotum. Security called the police and he was then arrested for drug possession. We wonder what kind of movie he was watching that he thought that injecting his genitals with a drug was a better alternative.
8. Keep Them Away from Deck Chairs
A Croatian man, Mario Visnjic, was shocked to find his nuts trapped in an old-fashioned deck chair with separated slats on the beach. He was at the Valata beach in Western Croatia where he had gone swimming in the sea, stark naked. His nuts shrunk while in the cold sea and when he sat down on the wooden chair for relaxing, the nuts casually hung out of the separated wooden slats.
Well, as he was basking in the sun, the cruel warmth of the sun expanded his balls to normal size and they got stuck between the wooden slats.
He quickly became horrified and shouted for help. Finally, he called the beach maintenance workers on his mobile phone. They rescued his balls after cutting the deck chair in half.
Instead of cutting away the chair, they could have soaked his balls in ice-cold water to shrink them again. What do you think? Obviously, using a sharp cutting saw around the sensitive area could have been no less than a nightmare for the poor fella.
9. Rub and Sniff Them
Yes, that’s kinda odd, but most guys love the smell of their ball sweat. It’s a favorite pastime of many men. They spend several minutes during the day in the bathroom rubbing and smelling their balls.Some even like the taste of nut sweat. Some also claim to powder their twins with baby powder after showering. Is that supposed to be cute?
10. Light Them on Fire
There are many incidents where guys intentionally or unintentionally set their, or other guys nuts on fire. In one such incident, a patient got his balls burning during surgery. And, what was his mistake? He just farted. Yes, apparently wind can be hazardous during this surgery.
The 30-year old man was having a mole removal surgery on his butt with an electric knife. His genitals were soaked in surgical spirits and were ignited when he farted.
Now, this is something we find so distressing. The doctor also says he may not be able to sleep with his wife anymore. What a pity.
Another man in Chicago set another’s guy testicles on fire using his Bic lighter for sharing a bed with his beloved. He had already warned the poor victim that he would set his genitals on fire, and he did as promised after he caught them red-handed.
One penis and a pair of balls are assets for every guy. The penis is the main tool of pleasure for them, so the guys are constantly on the lookout for various ways to make their love rod longer and thicker. Penis exercises, male enhancement supplements and traction devices are used as a popular means to increase the penis size.
Although all traction devices are not safe to use, the one from proextendersystem.com is worth using. It is certified by doctors for men to use for a long time in order to achieve an enhanced penis length permanently.