8 Tips to Keep the Fire Burning for Long-Distance Lovers
Chances are, if you are in a long distance relationship, you have been told that they never work. Many people claim distance is an immediate deal breaker, whether intentional or not. However, anything is possible through determination and hard work, including a long distance relationship.
Never squander the chances of a budding relationship simply because of distance, and certainly never break ties because of an upcoming separation. Sometimes separation is only short-term, and it is definitely doable if the couple wants it to work badly enough.
Now we are not saying it is easy, but there are ways that one can keep the fire burning while in a long distance relationship. Follow us as we discuss eight tips for keeping the love, desire and interest present in your long-distance relationship.
1. Make Sure You Have A Plan
Some people may not consider themselves “planners.” Regardless of whether you live with the future in mind or more spontaneously, a long distance relationship requires a plan.
Before beginning the relationship, make sure that you and your partner have the same ultimate goal in mind. Some questions to consider include:
Is this a serious relationship?
How often will you be able to speak to one another?
Will this be a monogamous relationship?
How long will this distance relationship continue?
What is the end goal? Is it marriage, or moving in together?
In order for any relationship to work, whether long distance or not, there must be an end goal in mind. Marriage, moving in, or having children; at one point, we all must settle down. If your partner has difficulty making up an end goal, then this is one red flag you may want to consider. Any relationship that is heading towards longevity must have a plan in place.
2. No Static: Make Sure All Communication Is Clear
Relationships in general thrive off of clear and concise communication; any faltering in vocalizing issues or expectations breeds trouble.
This concept magnifies when a couple experiences physical distance between them. Therefore, ensuring that communication is effective is a must.
The first important topic to discuss with your partner would be expectations. Make sure you both are clear about the expectations you have of one another before the physical separation.For example: are you monogamous? Will they be going out, and if so, will this include dates? Can the other person see other people? Will you be seeing other people?
Communicating these expectations ahead of time is a must, so that there are no surprises. Truly, nothing is worse than a break in expectations; be sure that you both expect the same thing.If it feels like one person is stretching their expectations, then trouble may be brewing. Both partners must genuinely want the same thing.
In addition to communicating about expectations, partners must also be sure to communicate regularly. Thank you to recent technology, video chatting is more prevalent, so it is possible to even see your partner in addition to hearing them.
Setting time aside for your partner can make all of the difference. Even if there is a time zone difference, set a regular time where you can speak with one another. Make it a daily routine, and your relationship will thrive.
3. Be Creative And Have No Shame
Communicating on a regular basis is important, but it is also pertinent to not fall into a monotonous routine. If something becomes expected, then it will eventually lose the exciting emotions connected to it.
This can actually be explained scientifically. Whenever we experience something new, our bodies flood with dopamine. Once the stimulus is expected, for example once you expect a phone call from your significant other, then the dopamine ceases to release and we lose that “feel good feeling.”
In order to ensure that nothing becomes expected or boring, find creative and different ways to communicate. Perhaps it is an option to leave an unexpected video message or send an actual written letter, in addition to phone calls and more technological options.
While it is important to switch things up, it is also important to not ignore the routine established after the other tip we mentioned. It is never advised to ignore your partner mistakenly or purposely.
It might seem like they can do without hearing from you every now and then, but remember that this appears as a lack in commitment, trust and honesty, which are the three pillars of a healthy relationship.
4. Know They’re Schedule
Without sounding completely creepy, you should educate yourself in regards to your partner’s schedule.Not only will this prove that you are committed to the relationship, but it will also help you communicate effectively with your partner.
Not only should you look into their work schedule, but keep up with their extracurricular activities, as well. Does your significant other go out with a certain group on a particular night of the week? Are they going to the gym regularly?
Knowing your partner’s schedule can also help you feel secure and trusting. This way, when you call at 8 p.m., you can remember that they go to the gym, instead of panicking about their whereabouts.
5. Shorten The Distance Whenever Possible
We know it’s easier said than done, but anyone looking to make their long distance relationship work must follow this tip whenever possible. Shortening the distance and closing the physical gap whenever possible is pivotal for a few different reasons: we, as humans, yearn for physical activity.
If your partner is lacking a physical relationship, then they may be more tempted to look elsewhere. It is also important to attempt to close the distance because it helps prove commitment.
Remember the necessities of a healthy relationship? Yup, that’s right, commitment was one of them.
Closing the gap can consist of visiting a loved one over a weekend; two days is enough to mend any physical yearnings. It might be a bit hectic trying to navigate travel and new locations, but we guarantee this sign of commitment will mean the world to any reciprocating partner.
If travel is not an option, perhaps one partner is in another country for work and cannot come home or funds are not there, then there are other options. Closing the distance can consist of sending a gift or care package. This way, the partner can receive gifts or little trinkets that remind them of you.
Want a specific idea of a gift to send? How about making a pillow with a shirt that has been especially spritzed with perfume? This way, something special can be made into an object for them to cherish whenever they want.
6. Fully Commit Yourself
It sounds obvious, but it is important to remember to fully commit yourself to your partner. Sometimes it may be forgotten that the precious time we have to communicate with our long-distance partner should be cherished.
Remember to fully commit to your partner when communicating. Make sure that you are not distracted when talking to them—put away any reading material, turn off the television, and concentrate fully on them.
Make sure to listen to your partner instead of simply hearing what they are saying. The distance is difficult for both of you, so make sure to pay attention to your partner’s needs as well.
Allow them to vent to you just as you would if they were home, and provide them ample time to speak. If you communicate in this effective manner, then we guarantee your partner will reciprocate the favor.
7. Keep The Fire Burning, But Don’t Ignite An Explosion
There are certain “dangerous” situations that one should avoid when in a long distance relationship. While these “dangerous” situations differ for all relationships, it is pertinent that both partners are aware of what they are and how to avoid them.
If you know your partner despises you going to the club with your friends, then either avoid doing this entirely, or ensure them that you are genuinely going out for a girls’ night.
It is definitely more advisable to avoid these situations that upset your significant other, but if they are completely unavoidable, then honest communication is key.
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations, whether subconscious or not, that are less than desirable. Perhaps it is going to coffee with that eye candy from work, or enjoying a “nonthreatening” hang out session with a friend; there are certain situations that can lead to something more. It is important to always listen to your gut and follow your head, as well as your heart. If you have any type of reservation, then listen to it wholeheartedly.
8. Don’t Worry, Be Happy!
Last but certainly not least, it is important to always remain positive. Negativity breeds contempt and your partner will certainly feel it. Remember that this relationship is desired on both sides, and that you know the relationship is worth it. It might be difficult at times, but remaining positive is pivotal when trying to make a long distance relationship work.
Try to remember that there is much to be grateful for today. You have someone to love, they love you in return, and you will settle down together shortly.
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Long distance relationships take work, but consulting help is a sign that you are in it for the long haul. Remember to remain honest and committed and always communicate effectively, and we guarantee you will have a long-lasting, healthy relationship.