The Top 8 Sexual Fears Science Has Shot Down
Fact: Sex is good. In fact, it is one of the most pleasurable feelings you will experience in your life. Apparently, sex is not all a bed of roses. In fact, tons of people experience problems inside the bedroom – and it’s not just a medical issue you can treat with pills.
An example of this is sexual fear. Sexual fears are fears that are either innate or something you develop that are related to matters between the sheets.
There are various reasons why you develop such fears. This includes trauma, a history of abuse and an existing medical condition that affects your sex life.
Here are the most common sexual fears, which science now says you shouldn’t worry about.
1. On Picking Up Women And Asking Them Out
Admit it. You have read countless articles about how to approach women in public places. You also made a mental list of all the things you should and should not do when talking to women. You may even have watched Hollywood movies and memorized pickup lines actors use in the movies. After all, where else could you draw inspiration?
What Else Could Go Wrong?
A lot. Apparently, what you see in movies doesn’t happen in real life.
Even science agrees that real-life women are smarter than those you see in the commercials.
In fact, they have brains that will help them decide if they should have sex with you or not. They also look into various factors, such as physical appearance and emotional connection to determine the likelihood of having sex.
Still, this doesn’t mean you are hopeless. You could still pick up girls and be successful in getting inside their pants. The key here is to be yourself. Don’t be too forceful, and relax. Innocuous gambits such as, “Hey, you seem like a nice person. Can we grab a bite to eat sometime?” works far better than being too direct or too over the top.
2. Women And How They Remember A Man’s Penis Size
Your penis size matters a lot. You may not admit it, but you and the rest of the dudes on the planet believe that your size down there is everything.
However, it is a different case for women. Most women care about performance, not size.
If you could be both “big enough” down there and be able to perform well in bed, then that’s good news for her. Did you know that women can remember how big you are down south and tend to overestimate your size?
According to a study conducted at UCLA’s Sexual Psychophysiology and Affective Neuroscience laboratory, if a woman spends time down there and tries to recall your size during her “catch up” with girlfriends, she consistently overestimates it.
This means any woman you went to bed in the past with probably has a good impression of your package. So relax and enjoy your ladylove, because the chances are good that she is quite happy with your penis size.
3. What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
How many times have you listened to Kelly Clarkson’s What Doesn’t Kill You?
The feeling of rejection or someone saying “No” to you countless times is one of the worst things that could happen to you. That’s why it is normal for you to fear it.
However, experts agree that something good comes out of being rejected, especially when it comes to matters between the sheets. Rejection helps improve your intuition.
At the same time, it improves your ability to read other people because your brain tells you to focus on cues and hints that could tell you if the woman is game or not.
That’s not all. Getting rejected could stimulate creativity in some people. Take the case of the guys who feel like outsiders. Rejection validates them, allowing them to focus on other creative endeavors. Surprisingly, this correlates to having more sexual pleasure, too.
4. Casual Sex Equates To Regret
You probably heard of tons of stories about how fun casual sex is, but how it makes people feel guilty afterwards.
This is because society has its way of instilling guilt and regret on you for sleeping with someone you knew three hours ago.
Here’s the truth: In some cases, casual sex can make you feel good. The reason for this is simple. Sleeping with someone is exciting. In the world of casual sex, excitement is greater than regret or guilt. More so, if you engage in casual sex for the right reasons, this could give your self-esteem a boost, too.
Still, this doesn’t mean you should engage in casual sex all the time. Doing it with different women all the time could be fun and exciting. This could even rev you man ego; however, know your limitations and when to stop playing around. Life is short, so don’t waste it by hopping from one woman to another, while everyone else is settling down.
5. You Should Have A Certain Set Number Of Sex Partners In Your Lifetime
Have you ever felt pressured to sleep with hundreds of women in your lifetime? Admit it.
Society dictates that men should have sex as much as they can because they are genetically programmed to do it.
Even the kings who lived in the ancient times could attest to that. This could be problematic for dudes who love sex, but don’t care if they are not getting “a lot.”
The truth is, no one really cares about how much sex you are having and the number of partners you had since you first did the deed.
In fact, in 2005, the National Center for Health Statistics reported that men have an average of six to eight female partners in their lifetime. This is a low number, considering the availability of various products that could encourage you to have sex.
What Does This Mean?
You don’t have to worry about having a set number of sexual partners as you reach a certain age in your life. You don’t have to meet the average number of sexual partners, even if you are already happy with one.
You also don’t have to comply with the dictates of society when it comes to the frequency of sexual activities. No one is having as much sex as you think since they are busy with lives outside the bedroom, too.
6. The Dreaded Word: Impotence
One of the biggest sexual fears among men is the fear of being impotent. By definition, impotence is the inability to get an erection, to sustain an erection that is sufficient for sexual intercourse or the inability to achieve ejaculation.
There are various reasons why you can’t get it up. Medical issues, stress, depression and old age are among the factors that contribute to this condition. However, 90 percent of impotence cases are psychogenic in nature, which means it’s all in the mind. The remaining 10 percent is biological.
Here’s what science is telling us about this fear: There is no way you can will yourself to have an erection. In fact, an erection is a natural process in response to certain situations. Further, behind this fear is the fundamental anxiety of getting rejected.
For instance, seeing a naked woman or watching porn could get your man up. Receiving pleasure down south could also trigger your senses and give your man a boost. Therefore, your partner’s cooperation and understanding is important to help you get over this fear.
7. Premature Ejaculation Is Permanent
Premature ejaculation is a sexual condition that enables you to ejaculate earlier than expected. In other words, you are the famous “One Minute Man. “ Just like the fear of impotence, experts agree that this is also psychogenic in nature – and it affects men of all ages.
When your brain recognizes anxiety during the process, your emotions get in the way, thereby affecting your normal inhibiting mechanism. Your brain gets the signal that the release is imminent, which is why the release is earlier.
Unless you are suffering from a serious medical condition, premature ejaculation is manageable. Medications, counseling and sexual techniques could help you prevent an early release. More importantly, your partner’s role in understanding the situation could do a lot in addressing this fear.
8. Small Penis Size Is Relative
For men, penis size is everything. The bigger you are, the better you will be in bed, or at least that’s what you make yourself believe. It is also the parameter for a dude’s manliness. Because of this, tons of products and techniques are available in the market to help you increase your size down there.
According to medical experts, the average penis length is 2.8 to 3.9 inches in flaccid state and 4.7 to 6.3 inches in erect state.
This is why experts agree that a woman’s satisfaction in bed does not depend on how big or small you are. In fact, it doesn’t matter if you are not able to go deeper during sexual intercourse. What matters most is what you do in bed to satisfy her sexual needs.
It’s what you do, not what you have.
What does this all mean? You can do whatever you want when it comes to sex. Fear is normal, especially in unfamiliar situations.
Without this, you won’t be able to learn how to adjust in different settings and reverse it to make it more favorable to you. The best way to handle fear is with an action plan, so if you have any of these fears, learn ways to address it instead of feeling anxious or afraid.