No one wants to boast about their visit to a sex therapist. It can be embarrassing to admit having to need a therapist, and some guys feel as though it is a massive blow to their masculinity.
Whenever we hear the term, “therapist,” we imagine a long leather couch with an old little woman asking about our problems.That’s just where our minds go. Either way we can agree that we typically associate therapy with something negative.
However, at one point or another in every man’s life, he will experience a sexual problem in one form or another. From a lowering libido to premature ejaculation, a sex therapist can help in a variety of different ways. First, let’s talk about the profession and ways that they can help you.
The definition of a sex therapist is a therapist who can help a person with their sexual problems.
Sex therapists are highly qualified counselors, doctors or healthcare professionals who have finished extensive training to help others with their sexual difficulties.
While some people insist on solving their sexual difficulties on their own, a sex therapist can offer help in areas where you might not have even known.
For example, a sex therapist can help with a lack of sexual desire, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or the failure to achieve orgasm. Both men and women can benefit from consulting a sex therapist, and often times couples can even visit together.
During a typical sex therapy session, the therapist will ask you about your sexual problems. They will listen intently to determine whether the cause is physical, psychological, or a combination of the two.
Once the therapist has a solid understanding of your problem, they can offer you exercises, tasks or types of homework to help overcome whatever your sexual problem may be.
The session will last anywhere from half an hour to 50 minutes, and the frequency of your visit will vary depending on your particular therapist.
The Top 6 Tips from a Sex Therapist
See? It’s not that bad. Now that you are aware of the profession and what exactly a sex therapist does, let’s talk about some advice and tips from expert therapists. Perhaps these tips might help you even need a visit in the first place.
Many experts claim that their clients take sex way too seriously. According to sex therapists, it is easy to prevent, fix and at least alleviated many of the sexual problems experienced by clients with a more playful attitude. When was the last time you had fun while you were having sex? Her typical answer is something along the lines of, “I didn’t know I could.”
Finding your individuality and personal flare in the bedroom will help you achieve sexual satisfaction beyond your expectations. Being silly in the bedroom can help you and your partner feel more comfortable exploring new fantasies or fetishes.
In addition to checking your attitude, there are a few other tips these sex therapists have for you and your partner.
According to many sex therapists, a relationship is doomed if one or both partners fail at initiating sex and receiving rejection. Any relationship that consists of one partner always initiating, or another partner who feels rejected whenever they ever initiate sex will automatically become toxic. This dynamic can only last for so long.
The usual pattern of toxicity that one sex therapist notes is as follows. One partner typically initiates sex.Once the partner with the lower sex drive continuously shoots this partner down, the initiating partner begins to feel inferior and stops initiating directly.
Now, the partner with the higher sex drive attempts to initiate sex in more indirect ways. Eventually physical contact, such as hugging or kissing can become resented by the partner with the lower sex drive.
Instead of allowing for this negative pattern to ensue, learn to accept the fact that you and your partner will never be on the same sexual page. Your sex drives will always vary and differ, so you have to adjust.
Turn into a sexual team, as opposed to two rivals. Respect and gauge your partner’s sexual desires. Remember to always be courteous of your partner’s desires, and communicate what you want directly.
The balance between initiating sex and rejecting sex is a delicate one. Make certain that regardless of your role, you are following some courtesy and gentle practices.
When you hear this expression you might get a little exciting thinking that this means you are number one, but unfortunately you are not. So what it is? Pleasure, my friends, pleasure.
Finding pleasure should always be the number one reason for having sex. Pleasure for you, pleasure for your partner and pleasure all around.
Too often, sex therapists see their clients that are so consumed with pressures, expectations and anxieties that they forget about the main goal of having sex. Sex feels good, after all.
One tip from most sex therapists out there is to always prioritize pleasure for both of you. There are a few different reasons why your sex should only be concerned with pleasure. Here are a few:
According to many sex therapists, you should never accept the fact that you and your partner are only having sex once or twice a month.
Too many couples settle and assume that their sex lives are fine. Whether it be a lack of quantity or quality of sex, you need to value the importance of it.
Making intimacy a priority in your life will, in turn, make your sex lives better. Never ignore if there are any incompatibilities in your sex life, as these might not be fixable. Eventually, no matter how hard you try to ignore these issues they will boil over and ruin other aspects of your life.
Instead, follow a few of these tips to ensure that sex remains imperative in your relationship. For starters, make sure you are regularly having sex.Even if it means having a regular sex night or time for doing it, you have to make sure it happens.
Invest in your sex life. Buy lingerie, do sexy things, buy sex toys, and explore new sexual techniques with one another. Also, devote sexy time to sex alone. Turn off your phone, put your work away, and shut the television off, unless of course you are watching something sexy.
No, we are not telling you to find a new partner, but rather keep that new feeling alive. If you are consistently experiencing new things, then you are sure to keep your sex life alive.
Sex holds infinite room for experiencing new things. You can never fully master sex, and there are so many different worlds to try.
There is always something to learn and experience, so approach your sex life with this mindset. Try new sex positions, always consider your partner’s pleasure, and learn new ways to do things you already do.
For example, if you know that one technique will make your partner orgasm, try getting to that place with a different route. Sure, the same old route is nice, but the scenic one can get you to the same destination with a better view.
All men want to know the secret to the female orgasm, so here is some clitoral insight, if you will.
It takes the average female approximately 40 minutes to get there. You should devote 20 to foreplay and general caressing to get her in the mood.
Once she is feeling sexy and actually wanting it, it takes another 20 minutes, generally, of genital stimulation for her to achieve orgasm.
Rushing her through these 40 minutes will never get you anywhere. Men typically crave a responsive partner, but remember that you only get what you put in.
Literally, if you just put your penis in, then you are not going to get much out of that experience. Spend time on foreplay, assure that she is really in the mood, and you will definitely get out all of the effort you put in.
What some sex therapists might not tell you is that there are actually ways to enlarge your penis. It’s true.
Visit a reputable company such as www.ProExtenderSystem.com to learn about effective yet safe ways to make your penis larger, firmer, and straighter.
Sex doesn’t have to be mundane or a chore. There are many ways to make it exciting and pleasurable for you both, which aren’t difficult, and can actually be fun.